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    <lastmod>2024-05-10</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2022-04-15</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2022-03-31</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/blog/thethumbsucker</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-04</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/605e87f0464a766c6a4742d6/1617577570843-SD2Z5F3SP6F2BBF0P09R/cptsd+%238+the+thumb+sucker+%281%29.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Trauma Blog - The Thumb-Sucker</image:title>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/605e87f0464a766c6a4742d6/1617578467224-X6TOOI4W4JZB3YL9R7JS/CPTSD%239.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Trauma Blog - Blackbird</image:title>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/blog/thestorieswetellourselves</loc>
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    <lastmod>2023-01-26</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/605e87f0464a766c6a4742d6/1617502212597-AH8VKFZMAR9Q8CEAQEWH/CPTSD%237.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Trauma Blog - How Abusers Brainwash</image:title>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/blog/mrskingandthegaslighters</loc>
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    <lastmod>2023-01-26</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/605e87f0464a766c6a4742d6/1617501593656-IB6AVXG46TNDDPYR1B4L/CPTSD+art+%236.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Trauma Blog - What is Gaslighting?</image:title>
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      <image:title>Trauma Blog - How trauma works in family systems</image:title>
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      <image:title>Trauma Blog - When Parents are abusers</image:title>
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      <image:title>Trauma Blog - how to stop dissociation</image:title>
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      <image:title>Trauma Blog - how to stop dissociation</image:title>
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      <image:title>Trauma Blog - how to heal from childhood trauma</image:title>
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      <image:title>Trauma Blog - how to heal from childhood trauma</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/blog/category/Self-Blame</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/blog/category/CPTSD</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/romantic-blog</loc>
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    <lastmod>2026-03-02</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/romantic-blog/inside-my-stories-why-the-west-feels-like-home-to-my-stories-1</loc>
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    <lastmod>2026-01-28</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/romantic-blog/a-quirky-quail-christmas</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-12-18</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/romantic-blog/beat-sheets</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-11-01</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/romantic-blog/free-romantic-short-story</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-08-27</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/romantic-blog/how-to-write-a-book</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-07-25</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/romantic-blog/blog-post-title-one-s7hed</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-06-25</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/deftrauma</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-05-01</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/new-home</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-05</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ec321c2af33de48734cc929/1589847763854-OGJIPZXLM6WQ3QJW4MYL/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>New Home - Meet Rebekah</image:title>
      <image:caption>Rebekah Brown, a native of the south, now resides in the Great American West. Surviving a complicated and abusive family system makes her unique writing style insightful as well as uplifting. Rebekah is the proud mother of two and grandmother of four. Her very first novel, The Raspberry House, dealing with narcissistic abuse and every person’s desire to find their heart’s true home will be released in 2021.</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-05</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Resources</image:title>
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    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/605e87f0464a766c6a4742d6/1617585439856-7D8143YFTE9FGO8M6ZCG/unsplash-image-h7pDENTfYvU.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Resources</image:title>
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    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/605e87f0464a766c6a4742d6/1617584848218-C8B59UNG31AAWK20J344/unsplash-image-Hcfwew744z4.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Resources</image:title>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/about</loc>
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    <lastmod>2024-01-31</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/605e87f0464a766c6a4742d6/8e805d0e-db6e-4f05-8b38-efd78419228c/Untitled+design+%2897%29.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>About Me - early childhood trauma is a national crisis.</image:title>
      <image:caption>When I began my healing journey, there was virtually nothing written and very little understood. Today, we have lots of information, but the experience of actual survivors and the hope of healing is still rare. Are we as survivors condemned to live in emotional flashbacks, anxiety, depression and worse forever? Though long-term early childhood trauma alters a person’s way of being in the world, it is possible, despite whatever obstacles we face and the differences in each of our stories, to defy trauma and embrace joy.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/605e87f0464a766c6a4742d6/cf133f54-12eb-40f0-b4bf-6ff05cacf335/Untitled+design+%2898%29.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>About Me - TRIGGER WARNING</image:title>
      <image:caption>My father, a classic self-righteous narcissist, married my mother, a mentally ill, sexually abusive tyrant. Together, they created a monstrous home filled with terror and despair. To outsiders, we were the perfect church-going family. Instead of dealing with their own childhood abuse issues, my parents instituted a system where neither would ever take responsibility for their actions. The only place to vent their rage was at the helpless children living in their home. I was the scapegoat as many truth-tellers are. It would take decades for me to unwind the complicated system of abuse and to understand where the source of my crippling anxiety and depression came from. Why couldn’t I function like everybody else? Why was I terrified all the time? Why couldn’t I ever be happy and at peace about anything?</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/605e87f0464a766c6a4742d6/6d6fac53-e44a-4c47-9cfa-5b4256c5a4c4/Untitled+design+%2896%29.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>About Me</image:title>
      <image:caption>How many times through my long journey did I think, I wish there was someone out there who understood. Someone who has walked this path who is not only sharing about abuse but who can point the way toward healing and joy. That is what I am attempting to do. The abusers have taken enough. It is time to defy trauma &amp; begin the very personal journey toward joy. You are not alone. May each of us find the blessings of life that should have been ours.</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://rebekahlaynebrown.com/trigger-warning</loc>
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    <lastmod>2024-01-31</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2022-03-18</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Understanding Pain</image:title>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ec321c2af33de48734cc929/1607694583486-2PQT0LQ193RL7MCB6DX4/20140228_Trade+151_0046.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Understanding Pain</image:title>
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      <image:title>Understanding Pain</image:title>
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      <image:title>Understanding Pain - understanding abuse is complicated.</image:title>
      <image:caption>We are so familiar with our family system, we may not even see it as abuse. In addition, abusers do something called gaslighting—see definition. They tell the victim they are the cause of the problem. This is compounded by the child’s need to survive. To believe the parent is the source of their suffering is so intolerable, the child turns on themselves. If a child blames their own behavior as the problem, there is at least the illusion of hope that there is something the child can do to stop it or control it.  A child has no frame of reference and no defense. Children are forced to adopt and agree with the behavior of adults similar to the way a cult uses mind-control and brain-washing. Abusers create their own reality and demand that family members support the lie. This leads the child to question their own perceptions about everything. Deep down they know the adults are lying, but there is no one to help and no where to go to be rescued. Parents hold God-like power over a child. Abusers use this power to lower their own anxiety, release their own rage and feed the need to dominate. It is soul destroying and casts a long shadow years after the child has grown up and left the home.</image:caption>
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